


Ephemeral

by captain_emmajones



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, BOTH, F/M, Fluff, i'm quite peaceful about dying but i dont want you to miss me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 05:55:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8359825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captain_emmajones/pseuds/captain_emmajones
Summary: " She sees it when she kisses him goodbye in the morning, when his eyes are still swollen from sleep and something horrendous sparkles in them. How they shine with panic, how his lips rest a little longer above hers. Do not leave me, my love." In which it is easier to leave, rather than to stay.





	

And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end… because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing… this shadow. Even darkness must pass.  
—   
J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers 

 

She considers life differently, now that she knows her time has come. 

It’s different from anything she has ever experienced. 

It’s not this fury in her blood, the tickling of her fingers, eager to touch, feel. It’s not the missed heartbeat when his hand lets go of hers. 

It’s not this feeling of utter unfairness as she admires the blue of his eyes now and knows she won’t be able to forever. 

It’s not the fire of her lips above his, in this desire to burn her skin, leave a permanent mark, something time won’t be able to take away. 

In fact, it’s incredibly peaceful, dying. 

It’s savouring the early rays of a timid sun, it’s being overwhelmed by the beauty of the sky, in this feeling of the purest kind which seems to wrap her heart in a soft blanket. 

It’s seeing him and Henry laugh together, and knowing this laughter will not cease to exist with her. 

.

She recognizes herself in the torment of his forget-me-not eyes. 

She sees fear, and fatality, in this ultimate human desire to fight against what must be. 

She sees it when she kisses him goodbye in the morning, when his eyes are still swollen from sleep and something horrendous sparkles in them. 

How they shine with panic, how his lips rest a little longer above hers. 

Do not leave me, my love. 

. 

It’s easier, to leave. 

Easier to think her soul will find endless rest in Heaven while life will go on down there. 

Sure, her absence will open a wound from which they will never heal. Sure, death will swoop on them and lay on their shoulder with all of its weight. 

But death is no ruler. Life is. 

Life is stronger than anything.   
(Stronger than true love, stronger than magic, stronger than the worst torment.) 

Death will attack, death will leave casualties, but life will conquer all. 

For one day, as they visit her tombstone, their heart will not moan in despair but sigh a small resigned complain.

For she knows happiness will illuminate their eyes again. 

(His eyes, she’s quite aware, will be way more reluctant to shine again.)

.

“Look Killian, one of us has to die first. It’s like, the rule.” 

“Says the one person who went to hell to get me back.” 

She sighs, rolls her eyes as he’s being ridiculous, her glasses on his nose and his body curled up under the tender pink sheets. 

She’s sitting at the edge of the bed, arms crossed, very much so angry at him for his fake nonchalance. 

“Must I remind you that my journey was doomed from the start and the only explanation for your ass laying under my blankets is Zeus’s pirate kink.” 

How he pops a malicious eye, curls his lips impishly. 

“How rude. Zeus and my ass are bloody offended by your accusation.” 

She frowns but a laughter tickles her throat, and when he purses his lips, she can’t help but jump on top of him. 

He’s quick to lay her body underneath his, his dishevelled hair brushing her neck. 

It’s a lot of giggles and stolen kisses, until he wraps his arms around her waist and rests his face on her breast. 

Ah, this ache, this delicious mourning, just above her heart. 

How her fingers play gently with his hair, her love for him stealing her breath away. 

“You know, Killian, I would really want you to be happy without me.” 

There’s a shift in his expression, as he chins up and looks intensely at her through his thick eyelashes, and she swears something shatters within her. 

“How the bloody hell would I, Swan? You are my happiness.” 

(It’s funny, how hearing those words feels a lot like dying and being reborn all at once.)


End file.
